The Pirate's Pledge and Customers Invocation to the Right of Parlay
Ahoy Matey's and Shivver Me Timbers if ye are not satisfied with the products or service here at The Pirate's Lair!
I, (The Pirate), promises to have me wench (AKA The Pirate's Wench), "walk the plank" for my esteemed Customers, Clients, fellow Pirates, and Wenches alike, and to further provide "1st Class Service" befitting the traditions of maritime heritage. Ye please be advised to ask any all questions or queries (ye have our permission to make them as clever or as stoopid as ye may without offence), regarding any of our offered loot prior to purchasing said loot to make sure it will meet your needs (this means ask before you buy); and certainly ask before it ships (not after), as an evil spell may then be cast upon ye!
I further agree to personally provide honest and seaworthy service to each and every one of my customers, and may I catch the dreaded Subic Bay Tulu Fever if I fail to treat each and every one of you with some occasional respect, deserved or not, so help me King Neptune, all Mermaids, Octopuses, Fishes, and other Denizens of the Sea.
And Fairweatherly more, I (The Pirate) hereby further promise, that any said purchases you make from this CARGO LIST, (or over the squawk box), are absolutely guaranteed to satisfy you handsomely, or you may be allowed to invoke the Pirate's Right of Parlay and return it within 10 days of the date shown on the packing slip for a FULL REFUND less 5% and the cost of any transport (shipping charges). The only exception to this Return Loot Policy is for the following products: 1. The vintage U.S. Navy Table Linens, Tablecloths or Napkins have a no return policy due to their rarity and potential for our valued and esteemed customer in staining them irreparably with the foul Grog Juice or some other inedible mischief. 2. Pirate Chests, Steamer Trunks, Antique Trunks, and Liberty Ship Hatch Covers and Trestles have a FULL refund per this warranty policy less 20% restocking/handling fee and shipping cost. However, if ANY custom work is performed for the esteemed customer such as wood engraving, wood burning of names, dates, other engraving, or ANY other modification to the item specific to the customer then there is NO return for this item and the sale is absolutely final once the customer approves of the engraving or modification. See below for further Return Loot Authorization information.
Further Rules and Instructions for Invoking the Pirate's Right of Parlay
Product Return Policy and Process: Our esteemed customers may invoke their Right of Parlay and return the said merchandise (the loot) within 10 days of purchasing said loot (with the exceptions as noted above) from the date shown on the Cargo Manifest Packing Slip and adhere to the Terms, Conditions and Warranties as described on this page. Esteemed customer must contact The Pirate by emailing The Pirate's Wench or calling her at (540-659-6209) to obtain a Return Loot Authorization #. THE RULE OF THUMB IS TO CALL US, CONTACT US, COMMUNICATE WITH US!
The RLA# must be scribed onto the return address shipping label of all returned loot. Additionally, the esteemed customer must also include a copy of the original cargo slip which was included in with the shipment, and also scribe the RLA# on this parchment as well.
The returned loot must be sent to:
DataCity, Inc. c/o The Pirate's Lair
78 Canterbury Drive
Stafford, Va 22554
By invoking this Right of Parlay for returning merchandise the esteemed customer agrees to pay for return shipping back to The Pirate's Lair, and we most strongly suggest using UPS Insured Ground transportation with Tracking #. We encourage our esteemed customers not to use some scallywag's unseaworthy and dubious galley (read: uninsured and unreliable shipper) only to save a few doubloons and shekels as it is the customer's responsibility to ensure that the loot (merchandise) being returned is well packed, and not lost or damaged during transit.
Once the loot (merchandise) has been received safely back at The Pirate's Lair, and our galley slaves have performed a properly inspection, then the Pirate's miserly Bean Counter and Treasure Hoarder will issue a credit back to our esteemed and valued customer for the full purchase price of the loot, less 5% of the total sale and less any shipping charges incurred by The Pirate. Remember, The Pirate does NOT refund the shipping or transport charges of any kind, don't even ask or you will be vexed with the Dreaded Subic City Toolu Fever and associated Sores.
If for whatever strange mystery of the sea, said esteemed customer sends back the loot without an RLA#, the package will not be accepted and will be put into The Pirate's security cargo hold until further accounting can be taken and the loot will be held for ransome. Further-thee-more any loot held by our esteemed customer for more than 10 days from purchase date will either not be accepted for a return or a 20% restocking fee will be incurred less any shipping or transport charges, soley at the Pirate's discretion. The esteemed customer acknowledges that they will be responsible and liable for any returned lost shipments or damages to the loot until it is received safely back into the Cargo Hold at The Pirates Lair.
Review and Verify Invoices and Shipping Documentation and Information For Accuracy: Further Important Customer Responsibility Regarding the Review and Verification of Shipping Documentation and Information. Sometimes The Pirate and his Crewmembers make mistakes in writing down or transcribing addresses and such other important information when taking orders or when completing shipping packing slips, invoices, shipping labels and other paperwork. When emailed or otherwise provided, it is up to our Esteemed Customer to properly review and verify all information including billing and shipping addresses found on any Invoices or Shipping Information such as Tracking Numbers to ensure accuracy. If ANY discrepancy is found on said documents the Esteemed Customer MUST IMMEDIATELY and without any failure or hesitation notify The Pirate via email (email@example.com) AND by telephone (540 659 6209) so that the problem can be corrected. If the problem is with an incorrect or incomplete shipping address this can be easily resolved by The Pirate and his Crew by having the shipment returned back to The Pirate and/or have the shipping company (USPS, UPS, Fedex, other) correct the shipping address while the item is enroute so that it can be properly delivered. Reviewing all said Invoices, Shipping Documents, and Tracking Number Information electronically sent to the esteemed customer is the responsibility of the customer! That is why the information is sent via email or otherwise provided to esteemed customer prior to the products being shipped or shortly thereafter! Mistakes do not often happen but they can be corrected even while said Loot and Products are in transit.
Shipping to 3rd Party's and/or 3rd Party Commercial Shipping Destinations:While DataCity/The Pirate may at the customers request ship to a 3rd Party such as a friend, relative, associate, and/or a Mail or Freight Forwarding Company, Storage Warehouse, Mailbox Company, or to ANY address other than said Customer then Without Issue or Question esteemed Customer assumes ALL LIABILITY including ANY Loss or Damage and will hold DataCity/The Pirate completely harmless regarding any claim from any damage or loss. Again and be advised if any damage or loss of goods is encountered by esteemed customer when items are shipped to a 3rd Party Destination then ALL liability and loss is between said Esteemed Customer and the 3rd Party. We cannot be responsible for how another individual or company will or will not properly care for, treat, store, provide security for, or otherwise handle merchandise being sent from DataCity/The Pirate!
Shipping Liability, Loss and Damage Claims: All shipments from The Pirate to the esteemed customer are FOB: Origin unless otherwise stated in writing. This means that all liability, damage, or loss responsibility for the item is transferred from The Pirate to the esteemed customer once the item is picked up by the Shipping Company. If our esteemed customer finds that there has been any damages to the loot while in transit to them, then they should refuse delivery of the shipment, and then immediately contact The Pirate's Wench to begin an insurance claim process. It is the responsibility of the esteemed customer to initiate all damage or loss claims to the shipping carrier and DataCity/The Pirates Lair shall not be responsible for the outcome or decision by the shipping company to award or not to award the esteemed customer any monetary insurance claim for loss or damage, even if said shipping company tries to claim that the damage or loss was caused by faulty packaging.
Esteemed Customer agrees that all claim's of damage and/or loss will be at the adjudication of USPS, UPS, Fedex or any other shipping company used to transport the insured loot and that the customer will abide by the rules and regulations regarding damage or lost claims as promulgated verbally or otherwise by each of the Shipping Companies. If esteemed customer refuses or fails to follow the instructions per the Shipping Company then they may forfeit any claims for damage or loss. While it may be necessary for DataCity/The Pirate to initiate and follow-thru on damage or loss claims for the Customer it is only doing so as to faciliate the claim for the Customer, and the Shipping Company will send a damage claim payment directly to the Customer.
Customer should note that ALL shipping companies without question including but not limited to USPS, UPS, FEDEX, DHL, et al will ALWAYS attempt to blame the shipper for not "properly packaging and cushioning" items sent in the shipment when they are faced with a damage loss claim. It is their standard procedure to deny any claim and to blame someone besides themselves even when insurance has been paid for. DataCity/The Pirate will not be part of this extortion and any loss to damage is between the customer and shipping company. If esteemed customer does not want to accept this shipping liability then by all means they should not place an order with DataCity/The Pirate.
FOB: Destination Esteemed customer can request that a purchase be shipped to them via "FOB: Destination" terms which means that DataCity/The Pirate is responsible for all loss or damage to the customers destination address. This would require additional insurance coverage of $1.50 for every $100. of declared value. All other terms and conditions found within on this Warranty of Service will apply.
Customer SHALL NOT Incur Any Costs to or on behalf of DataCity/The Pirates Lair: Under NO circumstances is the Customer authorized to incur any costs or charges to DataCity/The Pirate such as forwarding or returning any merchandise without specific written approval from DataCity/The Pirate. If Customer incurs any additional costs the Customer agrees that it will reimburse DataCity/The Pirate for the full cost and authorizes DataCity/The Pirate to debit Customers credit card or deduct these incured costs from any credit that may be given. It is ALWAYS at the Customers cost to ship items back to DataCity/The Pirate.
The Pirate, his Wench, Galley Slaves, Dancing Girls, Servants, Mermaids and all other creatures within the domain of The Pirate's Lair wish for our esteemed customer to be happy with their received loot and service, however the Return Loot Authorization procedures cited above must be strictly followed or the Right of Parlay will be nullified and forfeit.
All loot and merchandise purchased from The Pirate's Lair is either used or new old stock between 60 and 150 years old, yet comes with a 10 day guarantee of your satisfaction. Unless otherwise indicated, all loot offered at The Pirate's Lair does not come with a warranty of authenticity or origin. However we use trusted sources and any sales are covered by our 10 day return Guarantee except where stated.
Merchantabilty, Usability, LiabilityAlso note that The Pirate does not warrant merchantability or usability of any of the items or articles offered at The Pirate's Lair. The Pirate is not the manufacturer of any of the Dinnerware or Tableware including any and all eating utensils be it China, Silverware or Holloware. It is up to the esteemed customer's sole discretion to ensure that the antique and vintage tableware and dinnerware products offered by The Pirate will meet the esteemed customers needs and expectations regarding the manufacturing process used by the various manufacturers at the time of manufacture, which could be 40, 50 and even over 100 years ago! Just one word of note, caution, and disclaimer which supercedes all other written or verbal warranties or guarantees, specific or implied regarding use and merchantability. All of the products offered by The Pirate's Lair and DataCity, Inc. (including but not limited to the chests, trunks, hatch covers and trestles) are not "child proof" nor do they offer or incorporate any kind of safety mechanisms which may/may not be customarilly found on more modern furniture and appliances. The items being offered were not meant to be used by children as toy chests, clothes dressers, or as play equipment. The esteemed customer holds harmless the Pirate, his esteemed employees and/or companies against any product failure (other than breakage in shipping) and any consequential damage including loss of life or limb through the use of any products purchased at The Pirate's Lair or DataCity, Inc. Additionally, The Pirate identifies items that are 100+ years old to be "antique"; items that are less than 100 years old are deemed by The Pirate to be "vintage". All china and silverware unless specifically stated are to manufactured from the early 1900's through the Vietnam-era. Unless otherwise specified all Antique Chests and Trunks are between 100 to 150 years old. All WWII Liberty Ship Hatch Covers are between 59 to 64 years old.
Note Regarding Shipping to 3rd Party Commercial Mailbox, Warehouses, Storage Facilities, Freight Forwarders or Similar Commercial Enterprises and Establishments: Esteemed customer takes full responsibility regarding any damage that may be found on any items shipped to these 3rd party commercial enterprises as The Pirate (DataCity, Inc./The Pirates Lair) cannot guarantee nor warranty how any received shipments will be handled or mishandled by such establishments. If said merchandise is received by said 3rd Party Establishments and there is any outward visible damage to the shipping box or container then it should be refused and not accepted. Once any shipment from The Pirate (DataCity, Inc/The Pirates Lair) is received and accepted by any 3rd Party Commercial establishment all liability and product warranty for damage is between esteemed the esteemed customer and the 3rd Party Commercial establishment.
Corporate Ownership:The Pirate's Lair is a wholly owned division of DataCity, Inc. which is an established Virginia based corporation in business since 1989. All Invoices and Packing Slips will bear the name DataCity, Inc. as well as any payments (checks, credit card or otherwise!) will be made out to and will bear the name DataCity. DataCity can be found on the web at www.datacity.com , and can be contacted by calling 540-659-6209 or by mail at 78 Canterbury Drive, Stafford, Va 22554.
Esteemed customer agrees that the sole remedy of any dispute with The Pirate or his compatriots will not be in monetary excess of the actual goods sold to the esteemed customer by The Pirate, and that the sole monetary remedy to the esteemed client will not exceed the actual cost of the products sold less any shipping costs incurred by DataCity/The Pirates Lair. By virtue of purchasing products at The Pirates Lair esteemed customer is bound by the laws of the good state of Virginia and in the honorable county of Stafford as the only legal venue to file any legal claim or complaint with any court, and said esteemed client will never seek punitive damages or legal fees against The Pirate nor any of his compatriots from the purchase of any item. Any arbitration will be conducted through a mutually agreed upon professional arbitration firm.